{"id":72,"date":"2014-01-04T22:38:20","date_gmt":"2014-01-04T22:38:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/?p=72"},"modified":"2014-01-04T22:39:49","modified_gmt":"2014-01-04T22:39:49","slug":"poemblog-howie-the-not-so-horny-hentai-monster-sfw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/?p=72","title":{"rendered":"Poemblog &#8211; Howie the Not-So-Horny Hentai Monster (SFW)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The following short poemblog is &#8220;Howie the Not-So-Horny Hentai Monster&#8221;, the tale of a poor tentacle monster who&#8217;s working hard for the money. Player below (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.themaskofinanna.com\/poemblog\/Poemblog2_AEG_070913_Howie_Hentai.mp3\">direct link<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" id=\"embed_487041_16\" name=\"embed_487041_16_872g6\" src=\"http:\/\/embedded.dreamwidth.net\/?journalid=487041&amp;moduleid=16&amp;preview=&amp;auth_token=sessionless:1388872800:embedcontent:487041%2616%26:7ef3ef0642c5f996203baee5ef5074b38b8af7c3\" height=\"50\" width=\"400\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the text so you can read along!<\/p>\n<p><em>Howie the Not-So-Horny Hentai Monster<\/em><br \/>\nBy Alicia Goranson<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m Howie the Hentai Monster<br \/>\nAnd I&#8217;m just not into you as<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ve too few holes for my tentacles<br \/>\nAnd you squeak like drowning shrew.<\/p>\n<p>Your skeleton&#8217;s repulsive<br \/>\nAnd your skin has nasty taste.<br \/>\nAnd if I&#8217;m to understand it<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ve an orifice for waste.<\/p>\n<p>Remind which that is, please<br \/>\nNot the ones there in your face?<br \/>\nRight. Your eyes are placed quite funny<br \/>\nAnd your beak&#8217;s in a silly place.<\/p>\n<p>Your body can&#8217;t change color<br \/>\nAnd your manners lack all tact.<br \/>\nI&#8217;ll squeeze you with my suckers<br \/>\nBut you can&#8217;t sucker me back.<\/p>\n<p>Your head has seaweed stuck there<br \/>\nSoaked in oils and foulest cream.<br \/>\nI tried to pull it off but<br \/>\nThen it only made you scream.<\/p>\n<p>This act of reproduction<br \/>\nIs just murder on my spine.<br \/>\nIf this&#8217; for someone&#8217;s benefit<br \/>\nIt surely isn&#8217;t mine.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re doing this on land, I see<br \/>\nYou know that&#8217;s very queer.<br \/>\nI&#8217;m quite dextrous in water but<br \/>\nI spose I&#8217;ll just stay here.<\/p>\n<p>The camera lights dry me out<br \/>\nAnd I hope we get this take<br \/>\nThe director calls me &#8220;Bento&#8221;<br \/>\nAnd we both know he&#8217;s a fake.<\/p>\n<p>I do possess a phallus<br \/>\nBut it&#8217;s far too long for you.<br \/>\nThe director says its too weird<br \/>\nAnd he&#8217;d know a thing or two.<\/p>\n<p>I spose we have a good act<br \/>\nAs my tentacles in you piston<br \/>\nBut the only thing we share&#8217;s a<br \/>\nClosed circulatory system.<\/p>\n<p>I suppose I&#8217;ll get my paycheck<br \/>\nIf you&#8217;re who I&#8217;m s&#8217;posed to screw<br \/>\nBut let&#8217;s get one thing clear here<br \/>\nHowie&#8217;s just not into you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following short poemblog is &#8220;Howie the Not-So-Horny Hentai Monster&#8221;, the tale of a poor tentacle monster who&#8217;s working hard for the money. Player below (direct link). Here&#8217;s the text so you can read along! Howie the Not-So-Horny Hentai Monster By Alicia Goranson I&#8217;m Howie the Hentai Monster And I&#8217;m just not into you as &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/?p=72\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Poemblog &#8211; Howie the Not-So-Horny Hentai Monster (SFW)<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[6,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-embloggened","category-poemblog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=72"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":76,"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions\/76"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=72"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=72"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alicia-goranson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=72"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}